


The nature of concepts and the definition of love

by imtherealshill



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), F/M, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Post-Canon Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 12:11:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18623059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imtherealshill/pseuds/imtherealshill
Summary: Post-Endgame. Beware of spoilers.A soul for a soul...Steve writes Natasha a letter.





	The nature of concepts and the definition of love

**Author's Note:**

> I might have to rewrite this, but I just wanted to publish it before I turn in for the day.

Natasha.

We actually won. Can you believe it?

It wasn't easy. But we brought everyone back.

I have so many things... So many I've always wanted to say but never found the words. I guess it's time to man up... It's now or never. Although I ought to tell you why first.

We deviated from the plan during the Battle of New York. Loki got away with the Tesseract, so Tony and I improvised and went back to the 70s.

Back to S.H.I.E.L.D.

And I saw her.

She was just a few feet away from me.

Well within my reach.

Remember I told you once that I'm always honest?

When saw her, I began doubting myself... that maybe I really wasn't. I kept reminding you to move on, when I seemed to have never did, never changed from that Steve I knew before the ice.

Or that's what it felt when she was in front of me. Because I had this, overwhelming urge to stay there and live the rest of my life with her.

However the world needed saving.

So we returned. Thanos too, returned.

But we won. All because of you, Natasha. And Tony.

You didn't know what you were signing up for when you came to Vormir. But you went with it. You, of all people.

And Tony. He sacrificed himself. There was no other way. One in 14,000,605 futures. Pepper and Morgan... They're in good hands.

Everyone bid him a beautiful goodbye.

I know this is the worst way to let you know, but believe me... I just want to prepare you for your return.

We didn't hold a funeral for you.

Because you're coming back to Earth today, in one piece. Good as new.

In case it wasn't obvious, I volunteered to return the stones.

I know you asked me to get a life myself. I feel like I owe it to you to make it happen.

So I initially planned returning everything before the mind stone... and give Peggy the dance I always owed her.

I did. It was bittersweet.

But it only made me I realise what I really wanted all along.

I saved the best for last.

Because there was no one else I wanted the most.

Someone who I shared most of my life with. The biggest confidante I've ever had. The one who never stopped believing in who I was and what I stood for.  
The person who always challenged my ideas of right and wrong. The woman who kept me afloat during my darkest days. And the only person who gave me hope, and truly made me believe that all this was possible.

You made me feel like I was never alone.

I may have pined for Peggy all my life and clung on to the past because I believed that I was just Captain America and not Steve Rogers at all.

My endless fixation on my purpose overwhelmed me so much that I could hardly see who was in front of me.

A woman whose soul was as beautiful as every fibre of her being.

I guess being the world's leading authority on waiting too long really never did me any good.

When I had to lose you forever before I realised that you meant the world to me.

All because I'm fucking stubborn, stupid and scared.

I'm sorry.

It pains me to admit that I can't even kiss you goodbye.

I know we shouldn't trade lives, but it shouldn't be a surprise to you that I can lie when I have to.

Words will fail to express how much you mean to me. And I don't even know if you feel anything back. I can only hope. But I have a nagging feeling that you want me all the same. Or that's what I'll be thinking when I make a leap of faith.

That... is enough for me.

So do me a favour.

Make the most out of this second chance.

I got mine when I got out of the ice. I found a family, and I found you.

You deserve someone who will find you and keep you this time. If not, you know I'll be waiting.

But always remember that I love you, Natasha. Always will, always have. That love isn't just for children. Because you are living proof.

See you in a long, long, minute,  
Steve

Ps.

Say hi to Bucky for me.

And tell them... I love them all.


End file.
